Aug 28, 2016

Myth of Eustro Chapter Eighteen


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listening to the Poli├ža album Shulamith over and over (Expanded Edition) I've had it for months now, but it's been on heavy rotation along with a couple AM444 (Rooms, Eye Wonder) albums. i really love when i find albums i can listen to and enjoy from the first song to the last. it's rare for me because a lot of the time i don't want to hear music with lyrics. 
i find myself driving to this album a lot. it's good for driving and just going on an aimless journey to clear your thoughts. sometimes it's just a walk but i realized i'm usually in the car when listening to it. hmm...
I only found the album because one song was briefly used in an episode of The Magicians and after the season ended i decided I liked it enough to find it on the internet. yay. it came to me at the right time, it makes me feel good when i feel a specific emotional sadness (that i won't get into for the sake of all parties involved) but I'm sure you get what i mean and this has been going on for too long!
check out the speed art for the animated sequence from this chapter on my youtube channel @ https://youtu.be/FiQwouUSopI 

Aug 16, 2016

Monster of the week 023 Zumablann


Name: Zumablann
-------------------------------
species: horned, fur
type: anxiety
zones: NF3 & NF4
element: water
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str13 * dex1 * con14 * int 06 * wis10 * chr 07 * mag 04
hp: 69
mp: +04
-------------------------------
Arkyne of the Week GMUC transmission 003 video 

more monster cards at the Arkynery ---> http://goblyncomic.blogspot.com/2013/09/arkynery.html

Aug 14, 2016

Myth of Eustro Chapter Seventeen


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phase 2!
let me know how you feel about that animated panel, 
I was really nervous to try movement like that.
how do you think it came out?

Aug 7, 2016

Myth of Eustro Chapter Sixteen


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let the Month of Myth BEGIIIIIIIIIIIIIIN!
yes.
who knew Ephy was such a cry babby?

Aug 1, 2016

Arkyne of the Week GMUC transmission 001


this is the first official transmission from Asst. Director Melcham of the Grande Museum of the United Commonwealth, (Emmex Bille branch) to all Nightmare hunters and Dream catchers actively working in the NF zones.

I hope it finds you safe and in good health.
keep your VysCrys tuned to signal 1-66-500 every week to get the latest updates and info on everything going on with the newest nightmares discovered by your fellow Hunters and Catchers.

good luck and good hunting.

music: Council of Nine - Pale Sister Of Sanctuary Lost
by:  Randal Collier-Ford
@ http://cryochamber.bandcamp.com/track/pale-sister-of-sanctuary-lost

more monster cards at the Arkynery ---> http://goblyncomic.blogspot.com/2013/09/arkynery.html

Monster of the week 021 Therribyskk


Name:Therribyskk
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species: tentacle, scale
type: horror
zones: nf5
element: land
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str16 * dex17 * con12 * int 06 * wis18 * chr 04 * mag 20
hp: 73
mp: +20
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Arkyne of the Week GMUC transmission 001 video 

more monster cards at the Arkynery ---> http://goblyncomic.blogspot.com/2013/09/arkynery.html

Jul 18, 2016

daily arm up 71816 Eleven


Eleven (El) from the series Stranger Things. I saw n add for this series back in May and set a reminder to pop up on my tablet for the day the series premiered on netflix and it scared me when this message that said Stranger Things on the 15th showed up. it took me a minute to remember what I was trying to tell myself but I'm glad I did. I really liked this mini series, it's only 8 hour long episodes but I just marathon'd the heck out of them only taking a few hours in the night to sleep a bit and then i finished off the last three episodes haha.  it's not like it's a brilliant or unique show in terms of concept, but it was still good and has a lot of good characters and good actors. I'm not a fan of kid actors because they a lot of the time don't act like kids really do and you can tell an adult wrote their dialog and trained them because they behave... in a sort of alien way. but here the kids were pretty good about being kids. it's very Goonies like but with something else I can't quite put my finger on...E.T.? hm, maybe. what's another but more recent, odd thriller/horror/adventure/mystery movie with kids in it? Super 8? hrm...   Ultimately I love things like Akira and so I found myself drawn to this 100% and El is a perfectly tragic and broken hero. poor thing. 

I did think it interesting how she kept thinking she wasn't pretty and I couldn't figure out why that was. she had no one to compare herself to or any idealized person to draw a conclusion on what is or isn't "pretty" or why long or short hair would factor into that. maybe there was something cut? and then it's the boy who supplements her low self esteem and makes her feel good about herself. it's very male-sentric, which is something I consciously  work to not do when I write characters and build worlds. sure you can create realistic personalities because most of us are a little broken inside and it's part of what makes us unique, but every woman in this series has literal daddy issues. hoo boy... let's just not go down the rabbit hole of what might be going on in the minds of the Duffer brothers and what issues they may be working through. I'm going to check out some of the other films and series by them, I'm curious about the topics they choose to tackle and the playgrounds they run around in. it's a really good series that's juuuuust creepy enough and mysterious enough but doesn't hold out so long that you get bored. it seems to give you everything you want just as your brain thinks "okay, this should be happening by now."   okay... back to making comics. 

Jul 7, 2016

Jun 26, 2016

Goblyn chapter 71


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I finally finished it!
thank you for all your patience!
I hope maybe you enjoyed all the daily warm ups I was doing while this was being worked on?
those really helped me get ready for the day.

Jun 21, 2016

Smars Twitch daily warmup streams


So, I'm doing my daily warm up streams on twitch now instead of on youtube, because reasons.
but you can catch them every Mon-Fri 7-10am EST

hope to see you there!


Jun 16, 2016

Comics Journey 6916 (dealing with harddrive failure, impermanence and beauty)


sorry for the lack of updates, lost nearly three years of original art and comics because i didn't back up my drive. but i'm alive and healthy and i can still draw so i will rebuild among the beautiful chaos.

Jun 5, 2016

Goblyn chapter 70


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a new arrival to the world between world.
the place that is nowhere and everywhere at once.

Jun 2, 2016

momocon 2016 compilation video

(Comics Journey)
journal 6116
compilation video of footage and pics from my time @ MoMoCon along with my thoughts on the experience.

vertical videos are weird.
oh well.
music/remixes by: LazyBucks
@ https://www.youtube.com/user/LazyBucksMusic/videos


May 23, 2016

Smars at Momocon 2016


yay! 
I'll be at MoMoCon this year along with my friends Geistrums  and LD Walker 
at table AA-16 in the artist alley
come say hi to us.

we'll have lots of posters, stickers, postcards and tons more art and animation!


May 22, 2016

Goblyn chapter 70 update...


sorry for the delay, I've been bouncing back and fourth between working on Goblyn chapter 70 and getting ready for this big convention coming up at the end of may called MoMoCon. --> http://www.momocon.com/

A lot of the stuff I've been working on are stickers and pics for postcards that I need to get printed up or have been getting printed up because the days are creeping up fast and I really want to be ready for this year.

I'm excited for you to see chapter 70, it's a more personal Ami story as we delve deeper into her life and connection to the library at Ehobis Sawnn.

I didn't think getting ready for this convention would take up so much of my time, but it has. but every second I get I'm working more on the chapter so it'll be out soon but maybe not until I get back from this show.

May 9, 2016

Goblyn chapter 69


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something about this chapter.
I love the way it came out, it has a lush look.
there were also a lot of characters in this chapter who have never been in full color before so I had to spend a lot of extra time figuring out character colors.
but I think I did it.
yay.

May 5, 2016

how long Goblyn has been running


2346 days since Goblyn chapter 1 first came out.
... I didn't... realize that much time has passed.
((O_O))

that's a lot of days.
that's a big chunk of time...
and life.
thank you everyone who've been taking time in your life 
to spend it reading this story I've been making.
that means a lot to me.

you've kept my internal fire burning eternally
i'm ready to do another 2000 days!

YES!

May 2, 2016

Goblyn chapter 68


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sorry about the lateness
but I hope what you see will make up for it.
tee hee.

Apr 24, 2016

Myth of Eustro Chapter Fifteen



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tired.

Apr 13, 2016

Goblyn 2 week hiatus

I need to take a brief 2 week hiatus from making Goblyn,
so that I can finish the next batch of thumbnails for the end of the current arc.

I want to make sure I give you the best possible experience I can
so I don't want to just crank out stuff week to week with little preparation.

I hope you'll understand and continue to read the series when it returns.
watch the video below for a full explanation.



Apr 10, 2016

Goblyn chapter 67



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color? color.
Slugs and Stitches.
;3

Apr 3, 2016

Goblyn chapter 66



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thinking...
about the present
and the near future.
happy and concerned.
but not depressed.

Mar 27, 2016

Myth of Eustro Chapter Fourteen


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this chapter was a fun challenge.
thank you to everyone who voted last chapter!

sorry if it loads slowly... but once you read it you'll see why it's a little heavier than the other chapters.

also... there is one known action script error/conflict going on behind the scenes but it doesn't seem to affect anything on the front end.
let me know if you experience anything odd while reading.

Mar 20, 2016

Goblyn chapter 65


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by Jupiter's jellies!
it looks like a new chapter!
and i DO believe i had a lot of fun drawing pipes pipes and more pipes.

i DOOOOOOOOOOO!

Mar 16, 2016

Mar 14, 2016

failing up... I AM Dunkan.



bleh... I just spent a good amount of the night/morning trying to thumbnail out a bunch of pages for the Visual Novel I'm supposed to be working on w/ Geistrums called "Psychomatic" (which by the way the more I see becomes more and more clear to me how terrible a title it is, but I can't think of anything clever or visually interesting.) 

But I barely got through many of the thumbnails, it was frustratingly hard to concentrate because in the back of my mind I knew I needed to go to sleep so I could wake up early to start the rough pencils for Goblyn chapter 65, and then I couldn't stop thinking about the fact that I need to thumbnail out Eustro chapter 14 because that's coming up in a week. 
but I also needed to finish the designs on this months monster stickers as well as get over my (i don't know what you call it, wall with a locked door in the middle?) thing that's been preventing me from coming up with an idea for a wallpaper for February. FEBRUARY!? gaaaaah! 
I don't want to just crank out any old thing as a wallpaper just to get the deed done, you know? I want it to be significant in some way, a little special because of what it represents. I didn't want to contribute elements, to make these pieces offerings in the great sacrifice of disposable, forgettable art. I didn't want any of that kind of stuff to show or even be accidentally perceived in the work. not just the wallpapers... none of it.

I let my anxiety get the better of me, as I have a tendency to do. But managing these things is like driving several cars down a multi lane highway at the same time, they all go different speeds but you have to watch them all to keep them going straight, but that's not the problem for me. for me I sometimes stare at the road too long, the lines in the street, staring at the changing patterns of the asphalt showing how it's been patched and not patched year after year. listening to the weird gravely oscillating humming of the synthetic wheels rolling over those asphalt patterns. and then I look up because I just realized I've been concentrating on driving one car too long, too intensely swerving, slowly, into one of the other lanes. 

I don't crash, no, it's been a while since I crashed. but I snap out of it and panic and slow down my speed on all the cars. this metaphor sucks by the way and I'm sorry you're still reading it. 

I dunno' I just had the urge to write about all these projects happening at once and how they made me feel because I had a panic attack late last night. My head was thumping my heart was lie a million suns exploding in my chest over and over, my lungs hurt and I was cold and my head was fuzzy and I just wanted to run and scream and hide somewhere or just stop and die so I could stop feeling that way. and I haven't had one of those since I worked at my last job. I literally used to have panic attacks as I came off the train and crossed the street from the station to the building I worked in. Just remembering it is making my heart beat faster. But it wasn't just me it was Geistrum too, she worked there with me and admitted to me on several occasions that she had panic attacks just walking up to the building as well. what an unhealthy job. But, I realized last night my panic attack wasn't just the idea that I was trying to juggle a bunch of projects at once, hell, I've always done that. (I get bored very easily if something's not a creative challenge or engages my imagination in an interesting way.) this was the fear that if I didn't do this...

 
1. I wouldn't get another chance to put out these comics, and stickers and art and... and stuff and stuuuuuuff! because I might die tomorrow or just y'know... end up back at some sub-corporate company doing a job I dislike. which is like dying and going to hell. (no really for about three or four months I was convince I had died and gone to hell. the only way I knew i hadn't? I still had my drawing hand. In hell, I'd have no right hand.) O_O
 
 
2. would be letting you down, because I'm not making good on what I said I would and being a productive responsible artist.
 
 
3. letting Geistrum (and myself) down by not finishing my end of a project and not trying my best to prevent myself and a fellow artist from having to suffer through more anxiety attacks by actually succeeding as artists.
 

All of these get me, because they all deal with me freaking out over feeling like I'm letting people down constantly. 
consistently. 
like it's my pattern. 
I hope it's not, but these are pretty new branches of that super highway I was driving on earlier. I have no clue where they go I realized I'm driving all the cars but you're the passenger and the person I'm on my way to pick up at the end of the voyage. I try to prevent myself from getting so stressed out by the stuff swirling around in my head that I shut down. 

I did that already, back at the end of 2013 into early 2014 just as I had started that job and watched it slowly leak into my life and leech away all my energy to do anything except shamble into work like ajob zombie and make money for a boss I never saw but had the not so great pleasure of meeting the lapdog of the person he sold the company off to. 
guh... sorry. I don't want to spit venom here. 

I just really hated that part of my life. I shut down. Goblyn didn't get made for... months. I didn't know what to do with it. I didn't know what to do with anything. I'm not going to say I've sorted it all out, because I haven't and right now I'm back in nearly the same seat I was just prior to getting that horrible job. Having the ability to work full time on my art but hearing the slow creaking clopping footsteps coming down the shiny newly waxed, blandly colored, hall. knowing eventually someone is going to respond to my resume and ask me to come work for them, and that makes me panic with more anxiety than I feel like one person can handle. because it won't be something I want to do, rather something I have to do. but I question (have always questioned)
 why, do I have to? why can't I... why can't any of us do the thing we want? the thing that drives us in the morning? the thing that makes us passionate about life? why? why do we compromise? why do we accept this kind of life? what makes succeeding as an artist with your art so friggin' difficult? 
I ask this of myself but I don't know how to answer. 

what prevents me from pushing myself to the point that I can and DO actually succeed artistically? what is it in most of us artists? is it internal or external? is it something we can control or not? see... that's what's really going on behind the scenes, what's creating the anxiety, what's under the hood of those cars moving down the super highway. Not knowing why or what. I've been wracking my brain, hoping for an answer to find even a little clue, but I'm not even sure I would recognize it if I stumbled over it. honestly.
I think to myself, "well... I guess I'll get back to making art? I guess." and then I realize. I'm my character Dunkan from the Psychomatic VisNov I'm working on. I gave him my life up til now, but I gave him a way out. someone came along and saved him, but unlike Dunkan I have to save myself from that psuedo-corporate hellscape. 
I do. but I don't even have a clue where the emergency exit is.

no really... back to making art.

if you read all of this thank you for reading my rambles trying to figure out some stuff by actually typing it out. it's the only therapy I can afford. 
:/ 

Mar 13, 2016

Goblyn chapter 64


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Parts of this chapter kicked my butt so bad that I just felt like I couldn't finish working on it, but then I would read the dialog exchange between Jeph and Gaues and feel better.

Mar 8, 2016

Goblyn Q and A

I'm slightly over my camera shyness and answering a few questions about Goblyn 
I've received over time.
if you have any questions, you can totally send them to goblyncomics@gmail.com


Mar 6, 2016

Goblyn chapter 63


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just got in from a convention, check out the artists comment at the end of this chapter to find out how it went.
here's a hint. GREAT!

Feb 28, 2016

Myth of Eustro Chapter Thirteen


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I'm looking forward to the choice you make with this chapter. 
mystery at either end.

Feb 21, 2016

Goblyn chapter 62



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face face face face faaaace!
i can't think of anything funny smart or interesting to put here
I'm very tired, I was working on this chapter til very early into the morning and I'm going to go to sl-ZZZZZZZZZZ

hope you really do enjoy this one
night night.

Feb 14, 2016

Goblyn chapter 61



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Uh... oh! happy valentines day!
here's my gift to you.
heh... can you tell this wasn't planned at all?

Art, is my love and I give it all my heart every second of the day that I can.


:iconmumu-plz::iconsaysplz::iconheart3dplz:



Feb 7, 2016

Goblyn chapter 60


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Sixty!
yay!
I'm delightfully exhausted.

enjoy!



Jan 31, 2016

Myth of Eustro Chapter Twelve


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Choose, wisely...
mwa hahahahaaaaa
..."ahem"



Jan 24, 2016

Goblyn chapter 59


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Ami, MuMu & Sank.
going deeper into the heart of the beast.

Jan 17, 2016

Goblyn chapter 58


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a He has a heart.
kids love him.
so goes the tale
of the reluctant hero.
hero?
maybe...

thanks for reading!
enjoy!

Jan 3, 2016

Myth of Eustro Chapter Eleven


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Hooray! first chapter of the new year!

as a super special bonus THANK YOU to you for all the love you've shown this series so far 
through votes and comments and all of that amazing stuff...

I'm offering you a super special FREE version of the Eustro pack for this chapter
filled with art and sketchbook work and other great stuff

want to know what that means? 
well, check out the end of the chapter for the full details 
and the link